Me & God - The Tale of Love and Hate.

Years ago,

When the stars twinkled, and the bells ding donged,
and jack and Jill sang along……
I was shown a friend called God, the one who always smiled.

I was told that when in pain and need- to go to him
for he blessed every life to b blissful ever….

I wondered as I gazed and asked if he can; He smiled and just gave a wink….

Times rolled,

Pains were plenty, the needs were too lot…..
and every time I went to him…
he would just smile and wink at me….

Although pains may reduce … it would still pain.
Although needs were met…. more needs popped up.
And I was always wanting his blessings but saw him nowhere.
And everytime I went to him, he would just smile and wink at me…..

Times rolled,
And the seed of want grew into a weed of hate.
I hated him for not being there for me always…
for all the pains he left me to dwell with…
for not keeping me smelling the fragrance of good fortunes…



Someone said.. i have to create my own destiny…..
And so I walked away from my friend,
never bothering to look back and…
determined not to see him again…..

Through the journey many joined,
Being there and caring me, and walking beside all along,
and slowly pains were too less… needs were too little….
and life for the first time was very blissful...

Times rolled,

A loved friend of me reminded me that I had a blessed life…
and that was a disguised gift by the one forgotten …
The one who smiled and one who winked…
but wanted me to learn the life toughest way…my way.

And as I listened, I realized,
all those who came along walking beside,
loving me, guiding me, helping me, comforting me,
They were all who loved him,
and they loved me the one who hated thy.

One more time I went back to him,
With the forgotten love now flowing full,
But still he just smiled at me and winked.

Times rolled,

One by one those who walked beside are going away.
the one who gave me birth is out of the world,
the one gave me life gone forever,
the one who made my way blissful blown by the wind.
the one who gave me the smell of love gone with her beloved.

For now again I Love my friend,
and again the pains are too many.
For now I like him again after a long time
and again the needs are too heavy.

Time will again roll….
But lemme take a break….
Ask him why he wants me to hate him again
and what disguised blessings are for my take…

One more time I am standing in front of him,
gazing at him... waiting for his answer..
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and as ever he just smiles and winks at me.........

The Vagabond...

Cracking within….Emotions forced
to react. Armored Heart barricades
the thoughts, Motion Laws forced to fail…
allowing the dictation of the acts.

Cupid’s arrows...the Eden’s apple…
Questioned Integrity…Blamed a Chauvenist…
Motions forced to react… But armored Heart Blocked.
Moving on determined… eyes on the last frontier.

Distractions thou plenty. but had to Ignore affection...
Escaped attention… Belonging no where.
Neglecting love… sowing weeds of hatred…
Loved to be hated… Moved on like a vagabond...

Inner peace inhaled… Self masked… in the land
Of charmers … here I am… in a royal poise…
Wiping away the pains and hurts… Buddha reborn…
In a brief halt…safe and saved in this disguised sainity.

Behind the armored heart, a thirst unquenched…
All Barricaded reactions is now a force within…
For that frontier to be gifted back for those souls...
Sacrificed. Laughed at...Lose... I may as I move on…

But Here... Remember, I am Just a Vagabond.

The Spring arrives...

Fluttering the wings and
Flying west with its gang
The white bird winks at me…
Morning sun smiles bright…
Once again… The spring has arrived…

The touch of green crayons…
amidst the browns after fall…
Butterflies around on the innocent buds…
Young and colorful Lady Earth…
As again….The spring has arrived…

A sober painter is all gay…
A nature’s poet is all set...
Farmer’s glee ready for the harvest...
Lost I stand in the promise around….
all again…. The spring has arrived…

The winking white bird knows…
The smiling Morning sun has seen…
The butter flies are back to remind…
The promises that remain…To restart..
Time again… The spring has arrived…

Underneath I too know….
The many promises I owe to spring…
Every time she arrives… I give a Promise…
The annuals of school to the annals of Love and life…
Promise again… The spring has arrived…

Burnt in the Flames of summer…
Washed down in autumn…
Losing track in the mists of winter…
Promises awake again today.. a new beginning
Hopes again…. The spring has arrived…

Resolute I move… afraid of …
the warnings… Promise again…
to keep up the promises that Remain…
Fear of the Engulfing warming…..
My Breaches may see the spring....
........................... never again…

Alone when it is dark..

The darkness engulfs and the dark within embraces….
the lonely heart which loved being lonely is today on the run....

Walking lonely when it was bright the pastures were green.
and the Heart loved the touch of dark shades as nature’s bless.
It needed a lonely soul to see the beauty of the darkness then.

Today….. The soul wanders lonely… blinded by darkness throughout….
Darkness is not so beautiful when nude…
It’s so rude and slowly poisons this lonely heart.
And this Heart is on the run wanting to be lonely no more.

There were angels wanting to walk beside when it was bright…
and warnings tht a lonely heart is a devils paradise…
But warnings ignored, it needed a lonely soul to see the beauty of the darkness then.
That day was bright… touched by the just shades of darkness. Read as nature’s bless.

As darkness engulfs and the dark within embraces….
The lonely heart which loved being lonely is today on the run….

Knocking the doors of all those angels wanting to walk beside
Its dark… may be those angels realize darkness is rude when nude…
Doors remain closed, calls unanswered…. And the voice within says…. Run…..

The lonely heart which loved being lonely is today on the run….
No more wanting to be lonely … Not wanting angels beside…
At the least a glitter of hope by a Lamp that kills the venom within.
not just butterflies but drive away the stomach demons vying for a total take aside.

The lonely heart which loved being lonely is today on the run….
Angel or a devil never mind but My God please show me light.

THE PEARL

In this silence

When nobody listens

i cry aloud

When i think about

this wretched day

that just passed away.

As Tears roll

I sink deep

deep and deep

in the waters

to that deep inside Me.

and deep there

i pick the pearl.

the pearl for which

the sink was for.

With the new found pearl

i regather

to tear the waters

at the top gear

and get out of

the sea of tears

Iam back and now

i need someone to listen.

anybody listening?

WILL I????

Image Courtesy:

Thanks to the guy who shot this most Inspiring pic of my life. Due Credits reserved to him with all royalties and loyalties.











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The Eagle was flying high…Up above the world in the sky..
And I gazed at her with surprise…
He noticed my puzzled eyes…
“My son, this bird is an aero plane…And she carries people between lands…
Remember the Ram Epic on television…It’s that flights modern version”
I asked him “Have you flown"
He had a smile wry…“Only the rich can fly”
Me, “will I fly???”
Hugging me he said…“I dream you to be high there in the sky”

Sitting on the billion of his bicycle...
On the way back from school…I wondered, Will I ?????????????????

My Mom had a dream…about a small castle her son will build…
My sister had a dream...about a smile filled life her brother would gift.
Afraid of the autumns that flooded my bed…
Praying to thy to save my home being lost…
I hated rains…fearing that their dreams may be washed…
They dreamt On... and I wondered,
Will I?
Dreams continued…From the corner seat of a party,
When my best buddy dreamt that I would host one…
My Uncle’s dream that I will be in Vogue with fashion…
For My first crush thou I will be a statement of Passion.
She also dreamt that I will be a youth icon…
At the doorsteps of adolescence… when survival was in itself a question…
I laughed at their dreams…And wondered,

Will I????.............................

Did I???
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Today…I wake up to the thunder sounds…
And rush to see if my home is safe…
Majestically Stands… My Mom’s pride…
A small but still ‘Castle’… her son’s first gift.

Down there in the garden, my sister is all smiles…
Sharing tales with her little one… Making him dream…
and in his dreams I am an Icon.

and My Uncles…..
Pride and boost around of my lifestyle…
My buddies await my parties for celebration…
Living ways have become my Passion…

But...
Nothing, gifted by time…
had a few to sacrifice…
She.....
who dreamt to walk along....
had to go with the wind…

Thou I miss the only one....
who wanted me high there in the sky…
As I fly through the clouds every now and then…
I feel he is there watching me from the heavens with smiles…
I wish he flies along…. But …. all that.... is my Lost Paradise......

Stepping out into the garden I love today to be drenched…
A feel of Deja-Vu…
A feel of accomplishment…
To have realized the dreams…
For those who dreamt for my sake....
No fear of the rains anymore…

Nothing to lose.
Dream for Me… and I WILL do it for you…

But, amidst… I have a dream…..
For a Love … and happiness all throughout…
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I wish I realize………….


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WILL I ?